Happy Halloween!!

POSITIVITY CHALLENGE

Many of you may have seen my recent retort to a post entitled, "SAHMs Shut the Eff Up".  It rubbed me the wrong way because the author singled out SAHMs as whiney and unappreciative.  Sure, she didn't mean all SAHMs, just the one's who complained about their role despite being among the "luckiest species" in the world (which could be any SAHM on any given day, right?).

While I disagreed with MOST of what the author had to say (actually, I really just think I disagreed with how she said it), I will agree that, perhaps, I could be a bit more positive and that maybe I have fallen into the negative conversation icebreaker of an eye roll and a "can you believe what he did" comment.  But it's not because I am a SAHM...

Maybe, everyone- moms, dads, humanity... could benefit from a little more positivity.

I have been pretty negative lately (and by lately, I mean, "huh, I think I may have always had a negative subtext").  Despite this, I am a firm believer in the power of positive thought (major breakthrough here while doing Intensati- check it out).

So what I am going to challenge myself to do this week (and beyond, but let's not get ahead of ourselves!), is to totally weed out the negative.  Negative thoughts. Negative comments.

The obvious truth here is that when I am negative, I am, in some way, projecting a feeling I have about myself.

I sometimes am really uncertain about how I am doing in the mom department.  Sure, my kids know they are loved, but on a daily basis I am always asking myself questions like, "should I have been more firm?  Was I too firm?  Should I have given more options? Did he deserve that timeout?  Am I sending mixed signals by not having given him a timeout?  Is the little guy too young for timeouts?  Should I have started timeouts with the little guy long ago?"

There are plenty of articles out there about trying to be more positive, but here are my actionable steps towards positivity:

1. Wake up in the morning and say one positive thing about myself as a mother and as an individual- I really am my own worst critic.  And sometimes my negative thoughts about myself will play on repeat and totally interrupt positive interactions with great people
2. When I am getting frustrated about a situation and/or with a person, remind myself of something positive about that situation/person (and this "person" can include me, myself, and I).
3. Don't say a single negative thing about a person to another person.  I hate this and whenever I find myself in a situation where I am venting about someone, I always feel weaker and more insecure because of it moments later.  And the items I am criticizing are usually comments or interpretations that I take way too personally.  I am practicing what I plan to preach to my children- if I don't have anything nice to say, I won't say anything at all.  
4. And I will respond to every question of "How's it going?" or "How are you today?" with something positive.  After reading this piece, it really has put things into perspective and I really AM so lucky.

So...who's with me?

Weekly Workout

Look Back at Last Week:
Monday- 15 min warm up. 2x3 Hills. 15 min cool down. CHECK
Tuesday- Toddler had the stomach bug. X
Wednesday- Baby had the stomach bug. X
Thursday- Husband had the stomach bug. X (but ok, maybe I could have gotten a run in)
Friday- Gym 30 mins on treadmill and legs. CHECK
Saturday- 20 min run. Nope...spent the day running from one activity to the next.
Sunday- Rest.  CHECK



This Week's Workout Goals:
Monday- 15 min warm up. 2x3 Hills. 15 min cool down
(you may have noticed a pattern with this one...I generally drop both kids off at a morning activity.  Leave my car there.  And run right out of the parking lot).
Tuesday- Rest
Wednesday- 30 mins on treadmill.  Arms.
Thursday- Rest
Friday- 30 mins on treadmill. Legs
Saturday- 30 mins easy run outdoors
Sunday- 30 mins easy run outdoors

I Get Jealous When My Husband Gets Sick- TRUTH

Let's file this under:

• Things I never thought about before becoming a mom
• I am so sorry mom, I should have said "thank you" more often
• This mom thing is hard
• No sick days for mom

He's laying there, sick as a dog in fetal position.  Clearly he's contracted the stomach bug that's been picking off my family one. by. one.

When I heard him downstairs coughing at 6am, I admit I sort of hoped that he was debating whether or not to go into the office.

I remained hopeful when I came downstairs and saw that, despite being showered and shaved, he was back in his mesh shorts and wrapped in several blankets.

(Guilt: that strange feeling when you actually wish the stomach bug on your husband after you've been stuck inside all week with a sick toddler, a teething one year old, and rainy weather so you can't even take a walk!).

I quietly whispered, "You know, you might actually have a more peaceful day in the office,"- I was feeling guilty and I just wanted to be honest, but not honest enough that he'd change his mind and head in.  With or without the stomach bug, he was still adult company- still another set of hands.

He laid on the couch, I rocked my sick one year old.  My three year old, who appeared to have recovered, played in the playroom.  This lasted for 20 minutes.

And then I started to get annoyed.  I mean, sure, he's "sick" but is he really THAT sick that he can't unlock the childproof potty for our three year old??  Hmm...

The rain tapered a bit so I brought the boys out for some fresh air.  When they appeared perky we even went for a walk to the library, returning just in time for lunch and a torrential down pour.

My husband, still on the couch, moaned for more water and two Advil, "please".

I sat there, cutting up pieces of banana and hard boiled eggs.  Along with cheddar biscuits that I made in an attempt to feel domestic and nurturing (all of which would go uneaten aside from the pieces I all but forcibly convinced my kids to eat) while my husband continued to shift from feverish to ok- resting relatively comfortably on the couch.

As I slowly began to feel the aches in my lower back, as my shoulders began to stiffen and tighten, and as I swallowed away the scratchiness in my throat, all I could think about was how lucky my husband is to be able to lay there, on the couch, admittedly surrounded by chaos, but still able to rest.

I'll be sick tomorrow.  No one will get me two Advil and more water.  My one year old will still ask me to rock him if he's sick (or to chase him if he's feeling better).  My three year old will ask why we can't go to Toddler Time at the Y.  The dogs will still need to be let out.  And then in.  And then out again.

Is it really possible that I'm jealous of my sick husband?!

The struggle is real, my friends.  The struggle.is.real.

RELATED: Why it's so important to have the baby sitter on speed dial

Editor's Note:  I'm just not really loving my tone here.  I kind of sound ungrateful and whiney (which is ok sometimes).  I'm glad I am able to take care of my family.  I'm lucky to have that opportunity.  I am, however, feeling prickly about getting sick and having to get my own Advil!

Family Sick Day

The stomach bug has officially overstayed it's welcome and is now making its way through the family.

Earlier this week it was my three year old but now it has taken down dad and our one year old.

And then there was one.  Please, for the love of God, let me get a pass on this one.  I'm all out of sick days!!

How do you help your family through stomach bugs?  

Are You Doing This Simple Step In Your Skincare Routine?

We spend a lot of time and effort maintaining a healthy appearance when it comes to our face, but are you skipping out on the next part of your body that gives away your age??

Can you guess what body part it is?

...

...

...

Your hands!

Hands can be a dead giveaway of your age- and in many cases they age faster than your face- probably because we think to protect our faces from the sun and other environmental stressors, but not our hands!!

Here are three ways to protect your hands from aggressive aging.

1. Use sunscreen on your hands everyday!  After applying sunscreen on your face, use what's left for the back of your hands.

2. Same goes for face creams and serums.  Whatever remains on your hands after applying to your face, rub into the backs of your hands.

3. Always wear thick rubber gloves when doing your dishes (TIP: If you're like me, dish duty is an on-goin/never-ending process. Keep hand moisturizer by your sink and apply it to your hands before you put on your gloves to tackle the dishes.  The warmth of the water will help improve the effectiveness of your hand lotion and you'll get a mini moisturizing manicure).

Weekly Workouts

Look Back at Last Week:
Monday- X
Tuesday- X
Wednesday- Gym. CHECK
Thursday- Gym. CHECK
Friday- Rest. Check 
Saturday/Sunday- Long easy run.  1/2 Check...I only ran on Sunday




This Weeks Workout Goals:
Monday- 15 min warm up. 2x3 Hills. 15 min cool down.
Tuesday- Gym- 30 mins on treadmill.  Legs.
Wednesday- Gym- 30mins on treadmill.  Arms.
Thurday- Rest
Friday- Gym- 30 mins
Saturday- 20 minute run
Sunday- Rest


Hope you stay healthy this week! 

Weekly Recap

ICYMI- My Response to the "STFU SAHMs" post

In less than a week this post has garnered over 800 views and has been shared over 100 times.  Glad that this resonated with a few folks ;)

Almost as Good as a Mommy Makeover....Almost...

Karmama has a new look!!! A huge "thank you" to Ashley at Dinosaur Stew for helping me polish up my blog!

What's New

• Clean, sophisticated look and feel
• Easy to follow buttons so you can get the latest mom-com and beauty insights
• Easy share buttons to help spread the word (remember, sharing is caring :)
• Subscribe & email fields so we can stay in touch

What do you think?  Have comments or opinions?  Shoot me an email at katekarmama@gmail.com.  I'd love your feedback!!

Thanks!! 

It's Like They Know Us

This Tumblr had me laughing out loud!!  Worth taking a look for some Friday laughs!!

Have a great weekend!

Getting Ready for a Makeover!!

I've been finalizing mocks and revising templates... it looks like this blog might be getting a makeover soon!!

Can't wait to install and share our new look!  Stay tuned...

Oh, ICYMI:
Why I Chose Not to Breastfeed
Personally, I don't judge another mom as long as she's taking care of her kid (I learned that lesson, hence the name of this blog).  This is an interesting perspective for anyone who might judge or question.

Weekly Workouts

Whoops!  I was so caught up with the Brain Games segment and then the nasty SAHM post that I lost track of what I'd like to accomplish in my weekly workouts!









Look Back at Last Week:
Monday- 15 minute warm up, 2x3 hills, 15 minute cool down.  CHECK!
Tuesday- Chasing around my little guy at Kidville.  CHECK!
Wednesday- Gym.  Fail- had to make a trip to the pediatrician for conjunctivitis and ear infection
Thursday- Rest.  CHECK! (although I probably should have swapped with Wednesday's workout)
Friday- Gym.  Fail- just couldn't motivate
Saturday/Sunday- Long easy run.  Fail- house guests and a complete lack of motivation.

This Weeks Workout Goals:
Monday- X
Tuesday- X
Wednesday- Gym- 30mins on treadmill (with slight incline) followed by arms (free weights)
Thurday- Gym- 30mins on treadmill (with slight incline) followed by legs (squats, lunges)
Friday- rest
Saturday- 20 minute run
Sunday- 20 minute run

What are your goals this week?  Can you share any motivation?  Good Luck!

In Response to Telling SAHMs to Shut The Eff Up

If you didn't have an opportunity to read this gem, please do so before reading my retort :)

(No, really, if you don't read it before you read my response, I'll just sound profane and defensive).

In Response to "Dear Stay-At-Home Moms: Shut the Eff Up" by Susannah B. Lewis published on "Your Tango: Your Best Love Life" (wait...what?).

Is this for real?  First of all, I drive a [bleeping] station wagon, not a minivan.  Second of all, I can't come at you with sharp kitchen utensils because they are all locked away in childproof cabinets that I haven't been able to open since installing the childproof locks.  And thirdly, I know exactly zero moms who "dream of backpacking across Europe"-  I speak for many moms when I say that most post-parent desires can't be fulfilled by a rucksack and Cinque Terre.  An 11th Century Convent converted into a boutique luxury hotel on the Amalfi Coast?  Now THAT...that sounds fulfilling.

So here is my open invitation to all of you SAHM (and work-at-home moms and working moms and pretty much anyone with the title "mom")...

Come over to my house and vent, ad nauseum, about how [bleeping] hard this [bleep] is.  You can be "sad, and resentful" while you "whine" about your "sink full of dirty dishes" and I will pour you a bottomless glass of high-test coffee (and/or wine) and listen, empathetically because I get it.  I [bleeping] get...it.

You can vent about your "ornery children" without feeling like you need to count your blessing before complaining about your blessings.  You can rip on your "unhelpful husband" because I probably know your husband- and he's not intentionally unhelpful, of course.  It's just that you don't want to have to remind him to take out the [bleeping] garbage 1,000 times before you lose your [bleep] and just take it out yourself sometime after bath time, in between the nine million other things you need to do before bedtime.

(As for considering myself "blessed" to have a faithful husband- excuse me while I run a quick source check to find out what decade/country this post was published in).

Moving on.

Please, complain to me about how "weary, exasperated and annoyed" you are because it will only validate my struggles with weariness, exasperation and annoyance.  And I promise I won't consider you "indignant" or ungrateful if you don't start every conversation by acknowledging that we are among "one of the most privileged species on the planet" (I think everyone's pretty pumped to be human, but what I think the author is really trying to say here is that we are lucky to be home with our kids...lucky to be part of the stay-at-home-ma-sapien species).

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses of stained yoga-pant wearing moms and let us all "[moan] about the dust accumulation on [our] furniture, the temper tantrums in Target and the gas [we] burned hauling [our] children to baseball, ballet, and soccer practice."

Keep knocking on my door with your "greasy hair" and "caffeine withdrawals" and we will bond over our desires to maybe, one day go back to work, but only after we've witnessed those incredible baby milestones, of course- and then we will giggle because that very sentence explains the cluster [bleep] that is parenthood- our desire to achieve the parent/professional balance.

And I promise I will never tell you to "shut your piehole" or to "quit your whining"- mostly because that's crass, but also because I understand the value of venting about situations that are difficult and because I want to be a good friend and validate your feelings.  And also because I'm not a mean mom bully who thinks she deserves a badge because she "manages [to not] constantly sigh in disgust at [her] choice to care for [her] children or vent to anyone who will listen in the grocery store line about [her] unfulfilled life".

I'll listen because I understand the intricate complexities of choosing to be a SAHM and the past life regret that sometimes happens after shelf-ing the dimensional life you had before kids.

And to the author, Susannah- you are also welcome to come to my home and vent about how hard it is to be a SAHM when you don't have anymore SAHM friends after you offended all of them with your insensitive and pretentious post.

RELATED: "Blessings" that are ok to complain about sometimes
Your family
Your friends
Your Life, in general
Your job

Have You Added Vitamin E to Your Beauty Routine?

Winter is coming!!  My skin is already starting to dry out- the sink loads of dishes don't help!

I wrote an article about the health & beauty benefits of vitamin E a few months ago and I continue to be impressed with it's moisturization properties.  So much so that I went ahead and bought another bottle!

I leave one in my medicine cabinet and add five drops* to my morning water and will occasionally use this on my cuticles.

Where's the other bottle?  Well, in my shower, of course!!

That's right- after a steamy shower- the most indulgent part of this stay-at-home mama's day- I put about a teaspoon of Vitamin E oil in my hand and slather it on.

My shins seem to get particularly dry so I start with those and work my way up, focusing on my knees and elbows and finishing with my face.  Vitamin E can be heavy so saving my face for last gives me just the right amount of oil without it being too heavy.

Have you tried vitamin E oil for Moisturization?  Do you think you will add it into your winter beauty rotation?

Here is what WebMD has to say about Vitamin E - Benefits


*Make sure you check the label of your Vitamin E brand as the recommended dosage may be different

New Favorite Activity!

With both boys sick, we've been quarantined and spending too much time inside.  Desperate to get some fresh air, we've been spending a lot of time in the backyard but it's only a matter of minutes before the boys are asking to go for a walk or beyond the fence.

We were all a little cagey and craving some form of outdoor activity this morning.  I didn't want to introduce pink eye to the playground so instead I called in a pick-up order to Panera and headed to the fields for a picnic!  

I'm not sure why I never thought to do this before!  Two boys, a soccer ball, and an open field- we might just be adding this into our activity rotation (at least while the weather holds out!!).

No better way to throw off your productive plans than with....

A trip to the pediatricians!

So many activities planned for the day but in the matter of a speedy "bi-lateral conjunctivitis and ear infection" diagnosis, me and my sick bubby (and, considering the odds, my soon to be sick toddler bubby) will be in quarantine for the next 24hrs.

So, now we are off to the pharmacy- and we all know how I feel about the pharmacy.  

If you need us we will be slowly climbing the walls.

Dear Keurig, I Love You

  

I added a Keurig to my wedding registry and upon receipt, I placed it away in storage because I was a non-mom who got her coffee on the way to work or during long weekend brunches.  I never really needed my own coffee maker but it just seemed like something you should put on your wedding registry-- sort of like a standing mixer.

About three days into parenthood, while delirious with sleep-deprivation and while I should have been "sleeping while the baby slept", I was instead digging around a dusty closet looking for the unopened Keurig box.

After some dusting off and a quick rinse, I plugged this bad boy in and my mornings got just a little bit sweeter.

Keurig has literally held my hand through the 5:00am up-for-the-day wake up calls from my children and provided a cozy caffeinated hug during the wow-they-are-both-actually-napping afternoons.

As a non-morning person turned stay-at-home-mom, my Keurig is a close second to why I wake up in the morning (the first being my children- and not really in that sentimental definition, but more in the I-have-no-choice definition).

Making my coffee represents the small part of my morning routine dedicated to me.  The sound of the heating and brewing provides a satisfying soundtrack to the cereal, toast, yogurt, vitamins, milk sippy cup process that is my morning routine.

Moral of the story...if you don't have a coffee maker from your wedding registry, you should certainly add the Keurig to your baby registry :)

For more coffee-related content, click here


This is not a sponsored post

What Will Your Workouts Look Like this Week?

This week I am going to make an effort to get back into my fitness routine.  I have one morning a week to myself (plenty of time for a run and groceries!).  I'm also a member of a gym with free childcare so I really don't have any excuse...it's just a matter of finding that motivation!

Here's what my schedule looks like this week.  What are you thinking?

Do you like sharing workout ideas?  Leave some intel in the comments for us (trying to get) motivated mamas!

Monday:
15 minute warm-up run 

2 sets of 3 hills (I'll run up a hill at about 70% and slow jog down a hill- three times.  Take a break.  And repeat again.  My goal is to get this rep up to 3x5!  Did I mention that hills are great for your butt er, I mean speed.  Hills are great for your speed.)
15 minute cool down

Tuesday:

Chasing around my little guy at Kidville.

Wednesday:

Gym (to work out, but mostly for their free childcare)

30 minute run on treadmill

Free weights (arms)

Thursday:

Rest

Friday:

Gym (see motivation above)

30 minute run on treadmill

Free weights (legs)

Saturday:

Long easy run

Sunday:

Long easy run

Happy Friday!

I hope your Friday is full of independent play and sibling cooperation :).  

Could Staying Home With My Kids Be The Best Thing For My Career?

--I'm not entirely sure if this post is truly ready for publication.  But I've sat with it for a few nights already and, try as I might, I can't make it tighter or more relevant.  So, I'll quote an old boss (funny based on the content of this post), "pencils down".--

Long before I had kids, I knew I was going to be a stay at home mom.  I'm not sure why or how, but I just knew, in my heart, that I would be home with my kids during their first years of life.

Nevertheless, I envied my co-workers who could be so caught up in a project that they'd pack up their laptops and overflowing folders so that they could "plug back in" when they got home.  I wanted to be as driven and passionate about my line of work.  But try as I might, I just wasn't.

Sure, occasionally I would log back on.  And my husband would argue that I would check my work emails way too frequently.  But that was less of an "impassioned professional" and more of a proactive "let's mitigate the amount of emails I need to respond to on Monday" approach.

I would respond to a few emails- cc'ing my boss so that she could see I was "still working" at 11:30pm.  I felt a certain amount of professional pride (look at me, burning the midnight oil!) while at the same time smuggly chanting, "Work to live, don't live to work people!"

Sometimes I felt conflicted by the idea of staying at home after so much money had been put into my education- - going so far as to run the numbers to see if my seven years in corporate america earned me enough to cover my Boston College education (it didn't, if you're wondering- not even before taxes).

Nonetheless, I was thrilled when my husband and I agreed we were ready to have a baby- the SAHM countdown could commence and I could lose the ambitious corporate work-horse charade. 

My pregnancy announcement was as good as my final resignation and if I could have had a drink, I would have toasted myself to celebrate the seven long years that this SAHM to-be spent in a role that she didn't really like all that much.  Cheers to that!

Fast forward...my life changed in a matter of irregular contractions and vacuum suctions.  

Here's the thing about babies... With jobs, you can quit.  But with babies, you can't.  I have never felt more trapped than when I was "living my dream" of being a stay at home mom.  A fellow blogger- Love is Blonde- described it as "the neverendingness"- and it is spot. on.   I was just so blown away at the neverendingness of it.  

I couldn't step out for lunch.  I couldn't shoot an email to my boss to get more clarity on a project.  I couldn't ask for additional support on managing a pitch.  I couldn't pack my bag at the end of the day and walk away from it all for the night.  It just never.ended.

Most of my lucid maternity leave moments were spent weighing the pros and cons of going back to work.  It offered a break from the relentless demands of parenting while opening the doors to the relentless demands of a boss.

I was beginning to realize that I may not have liked my job, but I did like to work- to be a part of a productive team that played a pivotal role in the assembly line of a project affecting the greater whole; to have relevant commentary among my professional peers beyond diaper changes and feeding schedules.  

I wanted to return to work to maintain a balance but I feared returning to work would take over my new mom role.  And on the other hand, I feared that resigning from professional work completely and being a parent full time would isolate me from the rest of society (it did) and leave me living a life on the social sidelines, watching my working mom (and non-mom) friends maintain their multi-dimensioned selves while I withered away to the single-dimensioned-ness that is stay-at-home parenthood.

I looked for part time work.  Some sort of parent/professional balance.  But there was nothing that paid me enough to justify the cost of childcare.

I would say out loud that I wanted to work, all while my internal SAHM instincts grappled with rational thoughts of returning to the workforce- almost as if my mouth was willing my brain (and heart) to change their minds.  

I couldn't believe that, for the foreseeable future, my life existed solely to establish the life of another being.  Day in. Day out.

And that's just what I did.  Playdates, parks, and pools.  Repeat.  For the last three years, I was the typical SAHM.  But beneath it all, there was always a desire to do more, to be more.

And slowly, in between naps and late night feedings, something was cultivating itself.  Somehow the repressiveness of motherhood was simply squeezing my ambition and realigning it in the direction I'm currently pointed in.  And while I can't sit here and type what it is that I am doing, what has given me energy, enthusiasm, and (if we're being honest), an escape- I know I am on track and I know I've found it.  And I am going to keep plugging away at it until something sticks.  Until I can say that choosing to stay at home with my kids has helped me create my career.

        

Monday Mornings at the Grocery Store

Womp womp.  And yes, I realize it's Wednesday, but this mom operates on a two-day delay.