Monday, October 17, 2016:

Finally Decompressing And Learning to Say No

We have literally been out of our weekend routine since Labor Day.  FOLKS- we have not had a casual weekend at the Brochu house in SIX WEEKS.

It killed me to turn down big reunion plans with my forever girlfriends from high school, but I NEEDED a weekend of selfcare, rest, and relaxation.  A weekend running at full tilt with dad and mom vs. asking a sitter to chip in or expecting one parent to manage it all.

Well, the truth is I had planned to have that kind of weekend but I got a little sidetracked with a fun mom cocktail party on Friday.  Buuuuut, at least we weren't running in a million different directions and I actually had time to collect my thoughts- of which, I have many (but I'll save THOSE for another post).

We had casual snuggle time in the morning while we watched cartoons and ate bagels in bed (might be a new Brochu tradition!).  We finished up our half-baked Halloween decorations.  I even had a chance to clean up our landscaping (although the overgrowth lended itself well to the seasonal flare!).  We all made the trip to the last soccer practice of the season and my oldest even took an impromptu skating lesson with dad.  It wasn't necessarily a quiet weekend, is there such a thing when you have kids??  But at least it was a "stay at home" weekend.

My husband and I do this to ourselves all. the. time.  We have this flurry of activity and commitments that we make but then, when we get to the middle of that social calendar, we are spread so thin and just so worn out that we are miserable.  We will take time to decompress and slowly let the dust settle, but then an evite will be sent out or a fun event will come up.  We will RSVP "yes", afterall, we've been laying low for awhile, and just like that, it starts again- over scheduling.

Does this happen to you?  There are so many things I want to do- fun activities with the family, birthday parties, etc.  And as a mom, I often feel socially isolated so when events come up, I just can't help but say, "Sure!  A chance to interact with other adults."

Before I know it I am over committed and can't enjoy the spontaneous moments, the impromptu playdates that happen at the park or accidental bump ins at Starbucks the evolve into mini catch up sessions with friends.

How many times will we experience this pattern of behavior before we just say, no, we've committed to too much this week, month, etc?

I once had a friend in high school who was permitted one sleep over a month.  That seemed crazy to me as it was honestly my main priority to organize a sleepover ever week!  As a mom, I now understand the need for consistency- even on the weekends.  But what is the right balance?  How many social engagements are enough and what becomes too many?

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