Now some of us veteran moms might say things like, "Well, it does get easier, but it also gets harder" and, ok, so maybe there is a point- schedules, playdates, activities, tantrums, attitudes, opinions....
But the truth is, nothing compares to those first weeks of new parenthood.
While trying to find some post inspiration, I stumbled across an old post from when my first son was just three months old and it reminded me of just how blisteringly challenging the first few months of new mommihood were for me.
In keeping with my blog's namesake, I'll acknowledge that I really didn't think it was going to be that hard.
Sure, I understood that I would be sleep deprived, but I figured I would catch up with it while the baby slept, right?
And I knew that staying home full time would be a lifestyle change, but I would have laughed in the face of anyone who so much as suggested that I would be desperately seeking something, ANYTHING to strike a parent/professional balance.
I assumed we'd get a sitter for date night. Pack up the car and the kid for long weekends. Meet (and socialize with) new parenting friends who had identical parenting philosophies. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Karmama really is a bitch.
Yes! All of these things did eventually happen- sleep, date nights, like-minded parent friends. But it took awhile. And it was the hardest "while" of my life!
Here's what I had to say about it in 2011....
I need to stop pretending that this is easy or telling myself that it shouldn't be this hard. I need to be honest that on most days, I don’t even put on a bra, let alone shower. On the days I do shower, it is less about my personal hygiene and more about an opportunity for privacy, alone time, and a breather.
I need to be ok with “coming undone” and to learn to love the frazzled, frizzy-haired, totally strung out woman who looks back at me in the mirror. I need to be less needy of the peer compliments and more willing to be my own cheerleader; my own best friend.
I need to remind myself that every really great mom has/will come across her challenges. It might not be now but at some point whether it’s with teething, sleep regression, SATs or college visits, any mom who is trying her best will stumble over a parenting obstacle.I need to remember my parenting goals- raising a happy and healthy baby who is compassionate and confident. And the easiest way to teach these traits is to be/do/embrace these traits. And most of all, I need to strive for a standard of grace and not perfection.
A version of this post originally appeared on "Kate Says This About That" 2011