Friday, August 8, 2014:

My Momtra...for days when I'm just about to lose it

"Mommy I'm leaking," says my (presumably) potty trained toddler who, after weeks of dry overnight Pull Ups, decided to test his diaper durability with a "doodoo".

He tells me this while sitting on my husband's side of the bed (thank God)- half on his pillow, the other half on the duvet cover.

My eyes are still closed as I try to register what he's telling me- glad that it's my three year old who is awake and not my (clings-to-me-for-dear-life) one year old.  

He says it again, "look mommy, I'm leaking.  It's a poopoo- biiiiiig poopoo".

There is nothing like leaky poop on a duvet cover to get you out of bed in the morning.

Please baby Jesus and Pull Up powers that be...has it gone through the duvet cover?!? 

Ugh, it totally has.

Looks like it's laundry day....
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So, when my mornings start like this, and my days involve washing heavy duvets and duvet covers (and searching for missing articles of clothing in aforementioned duvet covers), I sort of want to lose my shiitake mushrooms (if you will...).

But, the thing is, you can't.  When you're a parent, you've got to keep your shiitake mushrooms together.

So on days like this, I repeat my Momtra and it goes like this:

Patience....
Grace....
Calm...
Patience....
Grace....
Is that @#!$ dog food in his mouth?!
Patience...
Grace...
Where did he get that screwdriver from?!
Patience...
Grace....
Why the !@#! are their Fruit Loops in my coffee?!  No, seriously...there are Fruit Loops in my coffee.
Patience...
Grace...
Ok, we are so done. Two is enough... I think...
Patience...
Grace...

Of course this is all in my head- fighting over the other voices taking up residence in there- as I try to keep my cool and remain in control.

In addition to repeating my momtras, I also try to frame the experience in a more positive way.  So, in this case:

  • I guess it has been about (insert embarrassingly long amount of time here) since I last washed the sheets.  
  • At least it was my husbands side of the bed.
Ommmm.....namaste!


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